Monday’s Big Spliff Funny
June 25, 2012
Somewhere In The Caribbean
- You refer to all powdered cleaning agents as “Vim”.
- You refer to all storage spaces built into your home as “cupboard”.
- You know somebody called “Beulah”.
- You distinguish between “coco-tea” “bush-tea” ” and “green-tea”.
- You call all hard candy “sweety”.
- You refer to all salt crackers as “Crix or biscuit”.
- You say “whappenin” even at a funeral.
- You tell the host “Good Night” when you arrive at someone’s home in the evening.
- You wash the “wares” after having dinner.
- When someone pays you a compliment, you say “Doan mamaguy eh.”
- When someone sympathizes with you, you comment “Yuh think it easy?”
- You point with your lips.
- You give directions with your hands, even if it’s in another state, “Yuh jus go up de road and when yuh see……..”
- You nod your head upwards to greet someone and sideways when the joke is stale.
- You’re standing next to plenty luggage and boxes at the airport.
- You use an umbrella for shade on hot days and never have it when it’s raining.
- You always offer something to eat or drink to visitors, even if it’s kool-aid and Crix.
- You refer to all sweet coloured juice as “Kool-Aid”.
- You hate to throw away empty containers for they might come in handy for pepper sauce, and if you live in the states you probably have more pepper sauce and seasoning that you can use in your lifetime because people insist that “dey doh have dat in de cold”.
- You say “bwoy” at the beginning of a sentence and “man” at the end of it.
- “Priority” doesn’t have anything to do with you having to do something right away.
- You always turn around when someone says psssssssst!, except for when you make out the person anh you’re “duckin” them.
- You have “knick knacks” all over your home.
- You always hang something on your car’s rearview mirror.
- You put ketchup and pepper sauce on your pizza.
- You make a drink and ice-cream with peanut butter but you never put it on bread with jelly, but you might put it on dixie biscuits.
- You think eating salted cod fish and fry bake is a great morning meal.
- You dip bread in your tea.
- You drink tea from an enamel cup.
- Your cupboard always full with tins of corned beef, pepper sauce, and red beans.
- You think steak is a waste of good meat. You rather cut it up and stew it with some potatoes instead, or curry it and make some roti.
- You wash and rinse plastic utensils and styrofoam cup and plates.
- You bring home food from a party.
- The word “storm” has nothing to do with the weather.
- And “what goin on these days?” and “I dey” means “hello” and “goodbye” respectively.
- You chew the ice when you’re finished with your drink.
- You refer to soda and pop as “sweet drinks”.
- You call a quarter a “Schiling” when this really means 24 cents.
- You still say “father Christmas” and “old years” night, and “dis August holidays” actually starts in July.
- You show disappointment by sucking your teeth (stewpsin).
- You refer to avocado as “Zaboca”, “Pear” if u from yard.
- And you go to the shop clerk and ask them “where allyuh have de breez?”
Don’t shoot the messenger…just found this on the web. No disrespect meant. Nuff Said